AM

Today, sitting here with mom and Donba.  I came up with a couple of places to go for drives.  It will be hot, so we won't try to get out too much if at all.  It is bright and sunny at least when I started out today. I had a good walk.  I forgot my sunglasses, but the sun wasn't that bad.  I got out on the late side, so it was high enough that my visor protected me.  I got a late start.  My time was that I got to mom's right about 9:30. I think I can do an hour better on Thursday when I need to be at mom's by 9:00 for my shuttle, at least I think it's 9:00.  I need to check the shuttle schedule.  I checked. It says 9:40 for a 12:40 flight.  I should be good.  Get up like 5:30, do my core stuff out by 6:30 back and in the shower by 7:15.  Then allow an 1:15 to get to mom's gets me there by 8:30, so allowing 30 minutes with mom, that gives me a 40 minute bad.  Yeah, good.  Tomorrow, I will allow 2:45 for the run plus walking getting out by 6:30 with 6:40 sunrise has me finishing 9:15.  Allow 30 minutes after wards for stretching goes to 9:45, than 1:15 to shower and eat goes to 11:00 like I originally planned.  So, if I allow 45 minutes to get up and get ready, 5:45, then head down at 10:30 tonight, I'll be good.  Yep, good.  It's going to be hot the next few days while I'm here in Austin.  I think typing actually helps stream of thought come out more flowing as handwriting is much slower and I get it into electronic form and easier to do. It's noisy here in mom's apartment with the A/C going continuously.  She's calling someone.  Yes, I'm here in her apartment.  It slipped my mind this morning.  Oh, well, that is fine. Go with peace and calm and the flow and whatever happens is just fine.  Right God, of course right, thank you and bless you.  I definitely get more words in 10 minutes than if writing by hand.  I wonder if 10 minutes is too long.  Well, I'm almost there another 30 seconds to go, at least I think so.  And I would've gotten more words in if hadn't looked to phone for data to do my schedule planning.  Amen, Lord.  It's a good life. Amen.

AM?

Really afternoon. My how the mind is like a sieve.  I started this on Friday the 13th, ah, maybe there's a clue, in the morning that day intending on morning and evening musings and here it is Sunday afternoon.  Ah, well, this isn't about being strict, it's about having an outlet available to me to express my thoughts and anxieties and hopes and dreams and anything else that flows from me taking about 10 minutes.  On my way to Austin to see mom and be with her and the anniversary of dad's passing.  I hope it will be of some consolation for her.  She is in a suffering place a place physical, mental and spiritual suffering.  I don't care what the Oprah podcast this morning said about we are responsible for allowing suffering, there is nothing I can do to alleviate mom's suffering.  Her current state is that of a suffering person and there's not much that can be done to take that suffering away.  Well, maybe I could be wrong.  But, it would take someone with lots of time and patience to teach her to accept her pains and I don't think there is anyone willing.  You might be able to say that I allow it, but I don't.  I can only give comfort to the extent I am able and still take care of myself and my needs and my life.  That is how it is.  I need to not become down when she is down and not have inflated hopes when she is up.  She will go up and down continually until she dies.  That's how it is.  I need to let go of the expectation that there is an up normal for mom.  We do the best we can and not hope for a plateau of "normal" happiness to live and be but try to seize those times when she is up to take advantage of opportunities to live.  That is all for now. Amen.

AM

20 minutes a day or less, 10 in the AM, 10 before bed. An outlet that let's me stream what is on my mind. Maybe help me work somethings out, let go of other things, and affirm for myself that what I think and what I believe is just fine. Just write a stream, don't try to guide or be purposeful. Just let it be as Sir Paul wrote. It is a beautiful sounding day outside, still and calm before the sun rises above the trees with the birds gently chirping away in the guiding silence. Today is another day of glory as they all are if one stops to admire the wonder of it all that all we see and experience is amazing just by the fact that is all just is, it all just exists. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunities to live, to love, to have one another. Amen and thank you for all you have given us. May we take your gift and share it with one another and may each of us find peace within from your gift despite all that may be going on without. Amen, Amen, Amen.