Another day.  Up dark and early.  Mom has a real early doctor appointment this morning.  I need to make sure we use the earmuffs.  And try using my heavy jacket.  This week has gone pretty well.  I'm feeling more at calm and less stressed about mom and the universe and work and everything.  Go tell it on the mountain today and for all the days to come that the spirit is on us, the spirit is in us.  It wells from the depths of our soul. We find strife as we try to cope with life's challenges and build shells around our souls that blocks the love from flowing forth.  It is hard to get beaten down when we express our love and expose our love even if the there is no intention behind the pain that comes.  We need to allow that love to come out and, even lovingly, accept and embrace the consequences to come.  It is better to suffer transient suffering even if harsher than a lifetime of continuous low level suffering.  We then mask the good feelings and miss out on experiencing them.  Life, our existences, is all about feeling.  We live to feel good.  We live to avoid suffering.  However, we take on the low level constant suffering to avoid the risk of short great sufferings.  Life is about balance between opposites and all of life, all of existence of the universe is about relationship. The is no existence without being in relationship to something else.  Nothing is without in comparison or in reference to something else. It is the changes across space and time that define each little tiniest bit up to the largest structures in the universe that is existence.  Nothing is absolute except the notion that nothing is absolute.  The only thing I am certain of in the universe is that nothing exists without being able to perceive the differences between things.  Otherwise it is all a flat featureless void that has no meaning.  Just as if we choose constant low level suffering, then life becomes a constant feeling so then are lives become featureless voids. (354)