Another day.  I missed yesterday.  It was a good day.  I slept late and allowed my self to relax for most of it and let time go by until my mind and the day was on its way before getting to meditation and writing.  That is okay. Let the days flow as they will and do not force it. If I am able to enforce discipline to do it, then that is okay. If not, that is okay. It is a dull gray day outside. The calm meditation music is like a relaxing stream.  May I dwell with a stream in my mind to relax and be calm so I may encounter the day with mindfulness and have confidence and harmony within my thoughts. It will all be okay in the end. Each day is a challenge before us. A challenge to flow the best we may be and a challenge to be in harmony to allow the day to unfold and to guide ourselves through it. May we be able to see the day as it is and flow and guide ourselves along with it and not force the day to be something it is not and not insist in our minds that it is something else.  Amen Lord and may the past guide me in this moment so I may flow into the future with an open heart and an open mind and accept others as they are and not as they are supposed to be. I guess that especially goes for mom. I can accept what she is and accept that what she is is not something I wish to have around me for my sake.  And, that is find.  I can also accept that I can be around her for her sake, not push and insisting for her to be something that she isn't but to help her be comfortable in her life. Unfortunately, she may wish for me to want to be with her for my sake, but that is not good for me.  There is too much negativity in her for my own good. I will be there for her to the extent I am able and maintain my own mental and emotional health which is strained by her being in my mind all the time. Her need for care will always be there until the day she days and I will do my best to be there for her but must also take care of myself. May I find and keep that balance, Lord. May I find my fulfillment in life and find my happiness.  There is a lot of selfishness in me and a lot of figuring out how things should be and how I want them to be that conflicts with how things really are. May I find peace. Amen. (469)