O Lord, another day. Missed yesterday because mom was having some distress. She's okay. She forgot about the issue she called me about or made it up? I hate to think that.  I don't know. It was strange but she seemed ending up okay. Music music music is distracting me. Turn it off. I thought it might be calming, my Pandora calm meditation station, alas, but not, c'est la vie. And the is how the world turns and turns and turns on its wobbly axis seemingly never ending giving us seasons with its tilt and adding spice to life as a launching point into other worlds some near we visit the nears we set foot on the farthest we peer into with our telescopes and detectors really just sensing the impacts the have on the universe that leads to stimulation of our senses. Oh, Lord we are alone within never really in the universe just sensing and perceiving what you choose, I hate that instead just sensing and perceiving changes within the realm of our bodies. We are caterpillars forever entombed in our own cocoons perceiving the signals our senses receive and make decisions to stimulate the universe around us. Wow, we make decisions to stimulate the universe around us and then there's a disconnected jump.  Because I don't really move my arm. What is it that really happens? I'm not sure how to get it into words. Are all initiation of actions completely automatic? If I decide I'm going to turn my head, how does that action get initiated how is it set into motion. I don't know I just decide to do it and it happens. Whoa. That's deep for me. I'm not turning my head, signals go from my brain to my muscles cause them to contract and relax in a way that causes my head to turn. Chemical reactions fire in my brain to cause the signals to go to my muscles. What makes the chemical reactions fire.  How is that initiated? How does my will become physically manifested? I don't know. I don't even know what is my will. (354)