Another day getting a little later start researching 1099 for mom's pension. It is starting to get a little light now. Thank you Lord for the day. I hope my medium run goes well. We'll see. It will go as it goes and I will make the best of it.  That is what freezes me sometimes, afraid to fail and not seeing making the best of it as an option. It's either fail or don't do. Try is fine. I will try. I will not just attempt to try I will not just try to try. I will try. I may not succeed, but that is okay. Life is about jumping out there and doing it. Doing it 'til I'm blue in the face doing it until the experience has been had. Life is about the experience. It's not about the destination, it's not about the journey, it's about the experience about the feelings it brings it's about yes our feelings. God created us to experience the joys and ecstasies of love. It's not about reaching heaven in the after life, avoiding hell it's about the here and now. The kingdom of heaven is here and now for us to experience. Amen to all and to all Amen. Thank you for being in my life and that is what it is all about. Thank you all I should thank all my friends for being in my life Amen to us all Lord and we will be hunky dory whatever that means and wherever it came from until the end of time we are saddled with our spaghetti and our linguini and the red sauce and the clam sauce and the sausages for our wieners and our sex and our lives and penises and and breasts and cunts and everything we are and have been and will be it is all a circle of life with circles upon circles that move us in circles and in the end we will have an end unto ourselves but our impacts on the universe will go on and on forever and that is truly the nature of our existence is the impact we have on the universe and we will be immortal in the ways that the universe is different from us being from what it would be if we didn't exist. That is what we are, the change in the universe caused by our being and in that way we are immortal. And we are the embodiment of all that has come before us we are shaped by what the universe was and is around us and we are the embodiment of the immortality of those that have come before us and those that are around us. That is the nature of existence. We are immortal. Yes, that is true. We are immortal because we are apart of the universe and the universe exists without end. The universe is existence and that makes it immortal by its very nature. Thank you Lord for the universe and the universe until the end of time and until the beginning of time starting with the end of time. Time is the essence of our existence it brings relationship between existences and nothing exists without relationship with other things. Thank you Lord for the mind for the body for the orgasms for Mary and her body and mind and my body and mind in one with her. Amen. (571)