Oh my oh say the thing in the sky is blue and black and rising and falling 'til the end of time and all is vanquished in the bitterness of tears long shed for no reason other than to blubber on about things we cannot control when all we need to do is go on and find pleasure and happiness in our inner beings living and loving together for one another until the end of time is vanquished as well in charred blackness when nothing matters any more at the end of time. We are all in this moment together lashing our teeth and mashing our breasts for potatoes and time and striving for things we want the we cannot have that if we really knew the implications of the having we would through it to the dogs and cats and rise above and find the peace and pleasure that awaits us in this moment that God has given as as eternal gifts each moment a new experience in existence with so much to offer and give until we die and until we see the true nature of the universe that lies within our hearts that we share together and blind ourselves to for being taught to follow ideals that shape a universe that does not exist and has never existed and stifles our beings into cowering fools that cannot see beyond our noses and can only see the pain and hurt that is within us and drives us to find other ways of being that are narcotics and drugs that dull our love our sense of who we really are driving us away from the true universe in ways that hide our souls and bring fear into our lives and divide and conquer us from one another when the true manifestation is to glory in who we are individually as unique manifestations of the same universe creating richness in the universe that can never be otherwise and brings us together as one sharing in our differences that the greatest thing we have in common with one another is the each of us is different from one another. Thank you Lord for love life liberty lascavisnous and I wish I knew what that word is. Thank you for our brains our thoughts and our beauties and one another together on this planet is shallow lives and shallow graves and deep thoughts and deep oceans and together and apart and with one another no matter how blind we are to be disabled from seeing one another from seeing how close we are in time and space and nature of existence and beautiful we are in the differences between us to learn and experience from one another the multitudes of the ways of being and the ways of knowing and the ways being loving animals raising the glory in each of us and raising the spirits in each of us now and until the end of time.  Thank you Jesus for your glory and our glory and for the glory of all that exists threading us together from vastly varied components into a single whole that grants us the epitomy of emotional existence. (531).

Today is another beautiful day, the Sun coming up brightening the world. Today it looks definitely cloud as light is coming on. I hope it doesn't rain for my run. I'll make it but it's around 50 so it will be on the coldish dampish side. I need to ask Mary R about testing for tomorrow. Maybe I'll ride in the morning and skip the 'tute all-hands to get in revert bike ride. We'll see. It's slated to be a beautiful day. Then I don't have to worry about riding on a sucky day Friday or Sunday and my long run day on Sunday I can keep a few days after today's medium run day. Here's hoping kid. And life and beats go on and on and I don't know the other lyrics in my head for Steven Bishop. It's all fine it's all high it's all merry and go's and rounds and lovely life and lovely Rita's and ice and flavor and calories and moving on with life and go along side the flow in my own world my own universe that is a manifestation of the whole universe. My universe is an expression of me being in this universe and my call is to allow myself and my being and who I am to be as it is and not force into what someone else sees should be my universe and allow myself to flow and the love within me to flow as it is. Amen Lord for the love you have created me with the love inside me you created me with. May I have patience and allow it to be and allow be to flow without effort without struggle and be as I am and I will love and flow peace to one another and find calm and contentment and happiness within me and without me and flowing through me as I flow through the it as well. Amen Lord for the chance to flow and let be. I'm not sure it stifles innovation I'm not sure it stifles seeing what might be. The way I see it might be that what I see is the flowing universe to allow to flow may not allow me to see possibilities beyond the flow of the universe. May I flow with the universe and search for possibilities for greater things in our manifestations. Allow ourselves to be mindful and to flow with what is should not stifle looking for possibilities in how we manifest ourselves, manifest our own universes in ways to expand and enrich our manifestations.  There is a difference there and it is expressed in the serenity prayer. Amen. (443)

Good morning Lord, the sun is coming up. I'm not sure maybe there are clouds. I see some pink on the distant horizon. Thank you for life love liberty the pursuit of happiness. It is all ding dangle dong as the bells chime and I am alive my hip is sore maybe from the core work out yesterday. My triceps are sore or my hip could have come from the bike ride on Sunday, ah, c'est la vie. Keep an eye and I'll handle it as it comes. That is a life lesson, have confidence in myself to handle whatever comes rather than trying to anticipate the worst all the time and try to avoid having to handle it. Life is about handling the unexpected. Thank you Lord for my brain my body my genitals all of it. Thank you for Mary. I am so happy my life turned out to be a life with Mary. Thank you Lord, Amen. And the beat goes on and on and Steven Bishop and Bishop Kelly and Kelly Regis and Phil and all the gang and until we go on and on we'll find the spirit and the gang and the fish and the ganglia and the hearts and rhythms of life and experience and sex and sharing and pushing the limits of what is acceptable into the realm have exploring all the I am and all that I am with Mary. We have love that can never be matched, we trust and are for one another. May Jeremiah and Sadie find that trust. Thank you Lord for the kids and may they do well in their life together. Spinning and spinning and falling and rising and twirling all around until the days they day until the days Mary and I die and beyond into the infinity and Buzz and Woody and Harrelson and Bonnie and Clyde and cowboy Indian and the best and the worst the ugly and the beautiful. There is no ugly, all is beautiful. Thank you Lord for our inner beauty within everyone of us. May our perceptions of how the universe should be melt away and may we refrain forever for trying to make it what it should be and flow with reality and guide our own paths to match our values and to match love that is within all of us. May we flow with love and find out unique paths and wander and wonder over all the is all that exists. Thank you Lord for life and love and being and going and coming and sex and love and Mary and the kids and mom and dad and Della and Andy and we have and all we are. Amen and peace to us all until the end of time from the beginning of time and may we be one in our love and raise one another up to find the joys and ecstasies of love and peace and honor and obeyance and life and pursuits and pleasures and joys and may we spread our love and joy among one another in life and our pursuits and in who we are manifestations of the whole universe from the beginning until now until the end in every place and in everywhere. Thank you Lord, This is going and going and we're here. I cheated with 18 seconds to go. Faith is the spirit of love. Amen. (568)

Today is another day, later getting started. Not brilliantly bright lots of clouds. Maybe only bright way of in the horizon where there are broken clouds. Here I think it is all clouded over. Today is good, I am good, life is good, everyone is good. We live to survive we live for what we value even if what we value undermines our own happiness. We may believe what we do makes us happy. It may just bring us pleasure. Happiness is state of being. Pleasure is an experience. And in taking pleasure we can become obsessed in it that we may harm or alienate others and isolate our souls from others bringing us suffering because we become lonely and have antagonism in our lives and drive ourselves and others to take actions to cope with the loneliness and antagonism that further exacerbate our situation in life. Lord, may I see happiness and less selfishness and more gratitude. May I be thankful for everyone in my life and everything I have an experience. Thank you Lord for love and light and lust and Mary and Jeremiah and mom and dad and Sadie and Della and Poe and John and Serapio and Grandma and Rosa and Eddie and Reuben and Charlie and Richard and all my family. Thank you Lord for peace and love and well-being for my suffering and for all I experience in this universe all I experience as part of this universe. Amen Lord and all is skipping and Skippy is skipping and peanut butter is skipping and look for the quilt pieces and love all I find and love Mary and love Skippy and find Drufus and all in my soul and all souls I am in. It is the end of the universe and the beginning of the universe and the universe exists only in the single solitary moment. May we all know there is nothing beyond the moment nothing beyond our point in space. Beyond is conjecture and speculation and beyond the relevance of who we are in the moment and space. Thank you Lord for all that exists and thank you Lord for our existence for my existence all blowing in the wind and up and down and rolling as stones down the hill and up the hill and around the hill in every which way there ever could be forward and backwards in time and manifesting the whole universe in all the ways it has been and all the ways it will be in this moment and this point. The universe is an infinity of manifestations of itself. It procreates and dies every single moment in every single place. May we know we are manifestations of the universe in our souls and in our bodies and may we live in peace and grace and love forever. Amen. (474)

Another day, still dark at this time in the morning. I'm happy about my brick yesterday. Hopefully, I can meet my goals, but go easy on them. Try to go slow and easy and be very mindful and watchful and take breaks as I go. The window is a blank dark slate waiting for the sun to pain the picture of a brand new day. Thank you Lord for the days for the nights for one another and weird dreams and going on and coming out and being who we are without fear and judgment and knowing you created us to be who we are to find joy and love and happiness within ourselves and please  give us confidence to be who we are and strength and self-esteem to handle what comes our way whether it be wicked or good challenging or a breeze. Thank you Lord for all we are and may we all be who we are together.  Thank you Lord for Mary and Jeremiah and Sadie and mom and dad and love of family and love of friends. Thank you for relationships which the only meaning in the universe. Nothing stands alone. Everything exists in relationship to everything else. Without something else, nothing exists. Everything is only describable in relationship to something else. If we perceive something all by itself it will be nothing until something else is perceived. Thank you Lord for life and love and for everything. May I walk through this life in the cool of the evening breeze and find peace and contentment in the calm and peace. May I find love in my heart above all else I perceive and experience. Amen to you and amen to me and amen to Mary and amen to Jeremiah and amen to Sadie and amen to mom and amen to dad. Thank you Lord for peace and fun and frolicking and going up and coming down. Thank you Lord for the peace in our hearts may we find consolation from our pains and suffering in you Love and may we find love in our hearts from you love may we share in the gift you have given us, the gift of existence the gift of love the gift of relationship the gift of having family the gift of having friends the gift of one another. May those who are alone be given friends people who care for them. Thank you Lord for life and one another thank you Lord for everything. May we all find the knowledge that having one another makes us who we are and enables us to find paths of love and happiness and joy. We are God's gift to one another. If we make the best of having one another in our lives, of having everyone on this planet in our lives, then we will find the joys and ecstasies and peace and calm and wonderment and excitements you wish to share with us through the gift of love. Amen. (499)

Another day, a few since the last entry. Sunday, later in the day, the sky is brightening up, it is past sunrise  I think. It will be a good day with brunch with the kids and a brick this morning. I hope it will go well. Some plantar fasciitis this morning maybe from pointing my toes during my swim yesterday. My calves seemed a little tight afterwards. So, I'll try stretching more my calves. I did twice a day Friday and Saturday, try 3 now including the stick everytime I can. Not tomorrow though cause I'll be at work. Stretch 3 times, stick twice. We'll see. If I don't like after Monday, maybe I'll send a message to Teresa about PT. I do have a methodical plan now. We'll see how it goes. I need to check on the time limit for the half-marathon and decide by 4/20 for Bear. And life goes on. Mary and I found some neat stuff yesterday. We made a lot of progress on going through stuff.  Maybe by the end of the month we can have everything into one storage unit. So life goes on. It is twirling and whirling and hurling and twerking and beserking all the time. It is never really predictable unless it is tightly controlled, then it is never wonderful. Life is about our feelings and about how we react to our circumstances never the destination and never even the journey, about how we react and respond to the journey. And maybe there is no destination and there is no journey, but there is always a circumstance to respond to. Thank you Lord for love and love and liberty and happiness and having one another. We are all here together created together all have kindred souls made with love at our cores and still all have love at our cores it is just the means for self-preservation and protection from outside forces that we develop shells that hide the love that makes us callous and suspicious and selfish because we have learned and been taught to protect ourselves from pain and yeah, it is hard. Is it almost not natural. In humankind's early existence, we existing protecting ourselves from outside threats. Maybe that is the meaning of life could it be that we were created into a circumstance of living without side threats and the goal of our existence is to learn to co-exist and find the ecstasy and joy that comes from living in harmony. Amen.

Another day getting a little later start researching 1099 for mom's pension. It is starting to get a little light now. Thank you Lord for the day. I hope my medium run goes well. We'll see. It will go as it goes and I will make the best of it.  That is what freezes me sometimes, afraid to fail and not seeing making the best of it as an option. It's either fail or don't do. Try is fine. I will try. I will not just attempt to try I will not just try to try. I will try. I may not succeed, but that is okay. Life is about jumping out there and doing it. Doing it 'til I'm blue in the face doing it until the experience has been had. Life is about the experience. It's not about the destination, it's not about the journey, it's about the experience about the feelings it brings it's about yes our feelings. God created us to experience the joys and ecstasies of love. It's not about reaching heaven in the after life, avoiding hell it's about the here and now. The kingdom of heaven is here and now for us to experience. Amen to all and to all Amen. Thank you for being in my life and that is what it is all about. Thank you all I should thank all my friends for being in my life Amen to us all Lord and we will be hunky dory whatever that means and wherever it came from until the end of time we are saddled with our spaghetti and our linguini and the red sauce and the clam sauce and the sausages for our wieners and our sex and our lives and penises and and breasts and cunts and everything we are and have been and will be it is all a circle of life with circles upon circles that move us in circles and in the end we will have an end unto ourselves but our impacts on the universe will go on and on forever and that is truly the nature of our existence is the impact we have on the universe and we will be immortal in the ways that the universe is different from us being from what it would be if we didn't exist. That is what we are, the change in the universe caused by our being and in that way we are immortal. And we are the embodiment of all that has come before us we are shaped by what the universe was and is around us and we are the embodiment of the immortality of those that have come before us and those that are around us. That is the nature of existence. We are immortal. Yes, that is true. We are immortal because we are apart of the universe and the universe exists without end. The universe is existence and that makes it immortal by its very nature. Thank you Lord for the universe and the universe until the end of time and until the beginning of time starting with the end of time. Time is the essence of our existence it brings relationship between existences and nothing exists without relationship with other things. Thank you Lord for the mind for the body for the orgasms for Mary and her body and mind and my body and mind in one with her. Amen. (571)

Today another day, still dark outside at this time almost 6. Need to reset the thermostat time. It was cold this morning when my alarm went off bells ringing children singing it's the hap-happiest time of the year and snow is falling and rising and the sun is on it's way to the neverlands and back again 'til the end of time and all is mushy and gushy and wonderfully bushy and beautiful as a bright eyed tail and Mary is wonderful and we are wonderful together forever from the beginning until the end of time and we are beautiful and life is wonderful and thank you Lord for our relationship and life together and finding one another. We are good for each other and good together and we got a budget and life is going on and we'll get the finances in order and planned and on we go to the end of time. Thank you Lord for all is good and we need just see the love within ourselves that was part of the us you created. We find was is and guide our paths through what is that is what we do to find happiness. We are together and we are loved and we are love and love is the word and that is wonderful and we accept one another and guide ourselves for our happiness and one another's happiness. A path of harm of others is not a path of happiness. Trying to steal the happiness from another does not bring happiness to oneself. It may bring moments of pleasure but it is pleasure that divides us all and ultimately brings down happiness and creates suffering for all including our own self. Amen Lord to the gift of love for which you created us and on and on my brain is going and the thoughts come some guided some random and it is all glory and it is all sadness all happiness all suffering it is everything and it is nothing there are two sides to everything or more nothing is nothing everything is everything nothing is everything everything is nothing nothing and everything exist only in relationship  nothing and everything nothing and everything have meaning only in relationship to nothing and everything. Relationship is the foundation of existence and meaning. Our feelings are only in reactions to the universe around us even reaction to no universe around us bringing loneliness. Amen because it is really a reaction to the contrast been a universe being around and a universe not being around us, it is a relative perception that brings the feeling of loneliness. If we never new a universe around us then the absence of a universe would not bring loneliness, but from existing from the beginning in our mother's women, we have never known existence without the presence of another. (476)